Teaser Tuesday or is it already Tuesday?

I want to post a Teaser, but I have been working on a major spoiler area this week and I'm having a hard time finding something that doesn't scream "alien invasion Earth goes KABOOM" kind of thing.  Well, not quite that since NORMAL has neither aliens or elements of kaboom.  Maybe I need some?  So, what I am left with is a small snippet.

Thanks as always for checking it out!

Sitting in the restaurant it felt strange that the rest of the world continued on while their lives were so out of control. Aly watched as lovers held hands and smiled at each other over meals, people celebrated birthdays and families joined together for happy occasions.  She found their joy to be powerful and attractive.  She eagerly clapped and sang along as the servers carried a cake to a nearby table, singing Happy Birthday as they went.  She hoped it would spark something inside her, some fleeting moment of enjoyment but only a deep numbness filled her, protecting her from the other darker feelings that shared space.  She looked at Andrew and caught him staring at Tanner’s wheelchair and tapping his fingers on his cast absent-mindedly.  Both served as a visual reminder of the scars healing inside them all.

Major coup at the library...

I scored at the library today!  Right as I walked in Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters stared back at me!

Score!!

Then when I hit the big time YA section I struck library gold.  We have a great library here but if you don't reserve a copy - you are looking at 5-6 year old releases.  I'm all for older books but I've had my eye on some newer releases (2009+ kids!!)...

So - what did I grab?

Wintergirls (Laurie Halse Anderson) (Yeah, I know it's not Speak...)
Fire (Kristin Cashore) (So what, I'll read Graceling next?!)
and Wish you Were Dead (Todd Strasser)

Yeah yeah, I know - soooo last year - but this is a huge deal for me.  I'd go out and spend money on books if I could right now, but I can't, so the library is my bestest friend.  Oh, and my other buddy "librarian" gave me the down low on the new online reservation system.  I'm going to go deep into a reading coma. 

I may never sleep again.

I have to go start my bath.  Pages await...

Teaser Tuesday

This is a super short fun scene from Normal with Andrew and Aly - she's not crying!

“I can’t give you this copy, but I’ll send you an advance copy.”

“Can I get an autographed one? I hear those go for big bucks.”

Andrew flopped back into the chair and laughed hard. “I’ll sign a bunch of stuff for you then, put you through college.”

She shook her head. “Oh no, I want a pretty car too, so I’m going to have to ask you to get everyone’s autograph – it’s worth more.”

“Of course. I’ll try and remember that.”

Taffy Stuck and Tongue Tied

It's starting again.  I'm pretty sure my brain likes to sabotage me.   I WANT to edit and revise Normal, I really do.  I believe in it and would like to subject it to the knowing betas for advice and assistance. 

I will query for agent representation for it.

In the meantime, when I should be editing and getting it ready for betas, I keep having these new book ideas hit me.  I mean wake me from deep sleep several nights in a row because I'm ignoring them. 

I spent two days making notes, writing dialogue, character descriptions, plotting and researching idea #1.  I gave myself that time justifying that I needed to get as much of my inspiration down on paper while the feeling was with me, and that I'd just jump right back into editing.

Then shiny new idea #2 hit.  I ignored it.  SNI #2 came after me with a baseball bat.  I hid in the closet with a flashlight and held my editing pencil tight (and wrote bad poetry apparently) while I forced myself through more pages.  SNI#2 came after me with a scythe.  I ran screaming outside in slow motion, flailing my arms and screaming for help but SNI#2 chased after me. 

I tripped I fell and SNI#2 stood over me with a menacing smile.  I held up my hands and begged, "I'll do it, just stop chasing me." then rolled onto my side in tears.  SNI#2 laughed a maniacal BWAH HA HA HA.

I spent two days planning SNI#2.

They are rather pushy, violent little things.  I can't wait to get to know them better.

Tax Deductions

I'm getting my 2009 tax information together and I'm thinking of all the things I wish I could use as a tax deduction from my writing "job".

Okay - this is a joke in and of itself since in order to reference it as a job I would need to have earned income from it, but still, I'm a dreamer.

So things I would like to declare on my 2009 taxes IF I was a paid writer:

$36.29  in Itunes purchases for inspirational playlists
$26.03 Ibuprofen liqui-gels
$158.08 Tim Horton's Iced Cappuccino's for those "mornings after"
$159.00  New printer that doesn't go through ink like a bad meth habit
$92.00  Ink for meth-addict printer before I went Office Space on it
$14.95  Ink for new printer with mild aspirin habit
$42.00  Paper for printing rough drafts
$2.99  Box of preferred pens for editing
$540.00  Year of internet service for research, access to Itunes, and AW
$125.86  Wine (aka - cheap drunk)
$24.99  Bottle of good tequila (aka - writers block)
$44.85  Jonas Brothers 3D concert movie tickets
$NOT GONNA PUT IT HERE.00 Jonas Brothers concert tickets (research people, research)
$366.00  Take out for nights I'm too busy writing to figure out dinner

Yeah... writing is fun!

Teaser Tuesday

I'm going to rejoin the living! For today's teaser I went with NORMAL again, and a little snip towards the beginning of the book.

Aly, her little sister Caitlin and Aly's best friend Jeana are hanging by the pool at a resort in Mexico on a family trip.

SNIP

Time goes by...

The goal I set for the final edit of Normal before it went off in the hands of betas was 2/15/10. I'm not sure I'm going to make that. I wanted to start querying 3/15/10. I laugh in the face of such deadlines.

I'm a very introspective person and fairly aware of my own foibles. Did I mention I have a lot of them? I'm pretty sure I'm subconsciously (and apparently not so SUB) sabotaging myself.

I know that if I never finish editing I can't send it to betas. If I don't send it to betas I can't polish. If I don't polish I can't query. If I don't query I can't be rejected. VOILA!

I'm a wimp. I want to move forward, but fear keeps me rooted. I want to be brave and go out all balls to the wall and query the heck out of my work. That is the problem though, it's MY work. Up until now I've been a closet writer. I've allowed myself to come out and share with select people. Part of that is a self motivator to be accountable to others since I am not accountable to myself. What if it isn't very good?

I'm a strong woman, at least I play one on TV, but writing has always been so inherently personal that it's hard to share. It's hard for me to even admit that I'm afraid.

Therein lies the problem. Fear. Doubt. Guilt. Fear.

I will do it. Just maybe not today.